June 11
what a cavernous hole this asking why what a tenous stance this not asking strange clarity that comes at night as the room expands like it is holding its breath
All posts tagged: doubt
May 16
All day today half -heard noises, like a baby mobile, or was that a cat? Don’t you hear the thing, calling? Or am I too attuned to the periphery, lines of demarcation, too glib the response, quick as a field of grass in spring, Whitman said tongues, no, blades– but I’m not green, can count the seconds before a thunder clap, and if I were to really ask– easier to shut the cold thing out, […]
September 14
too tired to sleep a small gold moth darts in the dark like doubt or a heartbeat the night puts an edge on memories no answer, no answer, those were answers enough
June 21
tannin of disappointment how it clings like a soft bitter leaf stains an evening seeps into a day full sun solstice even here longest day and longest shadows cast a stone and ripples cast a doubt and the breeze might not even be real
December 15
How the intolerable becomes tolerable, against all attestations otherwise the bite, forgotten that old dispensation what a strange capacity a heart deadens itself, dryly, inexorable as a nature show prey, predator, or merely winter coming on, nothing is surprising now, not even this
November 9
The dawn keeps on dawning. What was it that I thought I saw? Quickly forget the taste of lime and salt, warmth that lingers like an honest embrace. Cold rain. The gingko piebald, a tree at half-mast. What is love and what is loveable? The vacant building has a gray façade. A gray car passes in the slick gray street, the fallen leaves too damp to lift. A heavy act, to turn away, withholding. Mark […]
November 25
Sometimes I feel shy as a rabbit caught in arrant moonlight– crepuscular, I loathe extremes. What is this light that floods my life? Am I prey or is this love, finally– for so long I have sought out gray: Too dark for night, too light for day– purposed impossibilities. It isn’t only doubt that makes my heart race, but those howls at dawn chill my heart to an ice-clotted lake. Everything is loss: Of stars, of sun– […]
August 16
Here another summer day like any other just like any other and between being left and leaving I know which I prefer– Unsettling wind I wake to news of fire on the butte and the power gone out and KOZI off the air and level 3 orders to get out now and a pile of dead goats at a ranch that burned overnight and horses run off like open-ended questions– Only a slight haze, here, a tinge of regret, chagrin, I am far away, […]
June 15
The night is always more than the day the unseen weighing more heavily yet subtly the quick creasing of a bat’s wing a dull red speck that might be Saturn the implication of the doubly-stilled lake I wish I had stayed to swim in these expanses but now it’s late Monday, the maple leaves are wilting on the trees, stale sun, full heat, and I’m here if you want me–
January 3
Someday we’ll look back, I hope, and you won’t believe how I used to sit and let doubt and red wine carve me out from the inside in measured small sips, hardly maudlin, just knowing how how many laps it takes to cross the night. Then I’ll say hope is an albatross, and hope that you’ll see not just Dickinson and duality– harbinger of good omens, and doom– but also the sea stretching on for […]
OPTIONAL POETRY 